I would like to apologize in advance in case I snap at you at any time during the composition of this letter. I am highly sleep deprived because I have been lying awake each night dealing with some lame illness that causes me to gasp for air and wonder if my throat is going to close up on me. Oh, and the ear pain. It’s ridiculous, I tell ya!
If I wasn’t suffering from severe sleep deprivation, I realize I would not have an excuse for being snappy, but since I do happen to have a valid excuse, let’s just roll with it. Agree to agree? Alright.
First of all, I know this may send you packing, straight to therapy, but no matter how many times your mother has tried to tell you she doesn’t have a favorite child, and she loves each of you equally, I am pretty sure she’s lying! I just want to be a straight shooter, if you know what I mean. Better to face the facts, than to live in denial. Think about it, Mother Nature has four beautiful children . . . Spring, whom she gives the power to bring the flowers up from their roots and grace the lands with their happy colors, so that all of the people of the world can find joy in their surroundings. Summer, whom she gives the warmth and sunshine. She allows Summer to warm the world so that the children may frolic amongst the green grass playing games with their friends such as tag and hide-and-seek. Fall, whom she allows to paint the trees with many splendor colors, and cover the ground with the cheapest form of entertainment known to children, leaf piles. You, Winter, she gives the cold and the rain and the wind and the snow, and shall I go on? I think not. I’m not trying to be snappy or anything, all I’m trying to say is that maybe you should hibernate for a few years and think about what I’ve said, that’s all.
Your visit this year has been lovely. You were a bit late on your arrival, which gave me some much needed extra time with Summer and Fall, but that little game the three of you played for the entire month of November . . . you know the one where you rotated your days every three days, was a bit much. And a little annoying. Even for me. Please take note. Thank you.
So, Winter, what’s it looking like for the rest of your stay? Let’s not wait until Groundhogs Day, the element of surprise makes me crazy! What will it be? Will you stay? Or, will you go, now? I’m just trying to plan accordingly. It’s not as if I’m trying to push you away or anything. No, not at all.
We have had some great times this year. Our day at Apple Hill when I shivered so intensely that my whole body ached the next day. That was great fun. The chili cheese dogs were good too.
Thank you for being so cold the night of the El Dorado Hills Christmas Tree Lighting festivities, that I talked myself out of going. I don’t know what I would have done if my blood had frozen up on me. You saved my life!
I know we have had many more great times this year, but most of all, Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for blowing through my street last night and knocking down EVERY. SINGLE. TRASHCAN. On your way through, thus dispersing trash throughout the entire street. It was cute. Really, REALLY CUTE!!! I, being the art aficionado that I am, can only describe your work of art as “Picasso meets Monet.” The lawns and the landscaping in the background were so realistic, yet the display of trash over the background was so abstract. It was genius, I tell ya! Pure genius! The beautifulness of the whole spectacle must have just been overwhelming to those above looking down, because it caused the Heavens to open up and the angels to cry (hysterically) tears of joy, for TEN STRAIGHT HOURS!.
Now, Winter, the only thing that would make your display of artwork even better would be for you to invite Mr. Sun out to dry up all of the rain, and send an itsy-bitsy gust of wind back down the street to blow the trash back in the can again . . . because I sure as heck don’t want to do it! Please forgive my snappiness! No sleep.
In closing, I would like to invite you back for another visit. What is your schedule looking like for December 2086?
Until then . . .
So long, Farewell, Aufwiedersehn, Goodbye, I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye . . . GOODBYE,