Friday, May 18, 2007

Dear Certain Patrons of a Certain Starbucks,

I am going to skip all of the mushy -gushy "How are you?" and "What have you been up to lately?" because frankly I am not interested and I would rather just move on to business (it is now when you should ignore the run-on sentences and grammatical errors!)

Please be advised that Prom is an annual event. Annual means the event happens ONCE per year, usually in the Spring. Prom is also an event strictly for high school students. With that said, please also be advised that it is not necessary to sport your prom attire every single, solitary, freaking time you go to Starbucks to drink coffee! Now, I am not saying you shouldn't be able to dress nicely, because I am all for looking nice when going out of the house, I am simply saying, loud and clear, LEAVE THE PROM DRESSES, SHOES, HAIRSTYLES, JEWELRY, ETC at home when going to partake in a cup of coffee! Now, I am no stranger to bling, in fact I am all for wearing the bling, but please be aware that there is a limit to looking good with bling and just plain looking trashy!

If your intention of sporting your prom attire to Starbucks is to be noticed, let me inform you, everyone within a four block radius of the establishment already knows you are there, prom attire and bling, or not, because you are so damn loud!!!!

I hope that you have a great day!

Love,

A Starbucks Patron Who Is Tired Of Wearing Her Sunglasses To Drink Coffee

P.S. Please also advise your male friends that I am getting tired of seeing my refelection in their patent leather, white dress shoes (worn with jeans nonetheless) everytime I look down towards the ground. Also, it is not necessary to bathe in cologne, once again, we know you are there, we can hear you and every single word of your conversation!!

9 comments:

ryles said...

sounds like you've been run out of your starbucks once again! Is there a single starbucks left in that town that hasnt been infested?? You should really move here.. you'd be the only one at Starbucks..

ibeebarbie said...

Currently mummifying my ball gown, re-evaluating and selecting only absolutely necessary pieces of bling (under 20) to adorn, limiting the number of squirts of cologne (again under 20), and restraining the number of coats of high-gloss sparkly eye-shadow and lipstick I apply. However, I refutably refuse to wear closed toe high-heels with my nylons----for I still have standards.

Moreover, out of mere respect for you, I will also do the above for Amira as well.

Oh, wait a minute…………was this about me? NO! Sorry – carry on with your rant.

Mixed Up Me said...

I'm on my way to Starbucks . . . I'll let you both know if the message was received!

mani said...

Salam Ryan!!.. it was delightful reading your post LOLOLOLOLOL..

You tell it to em!! :)

ibeebarbie said...

Mixed Up Me,
Now I was at Starbucks last night with my "date" M---as we just came back from her friend's wedding. (M looked stunning by the way---up staging the bride....LOLOLOL) Anyway, aside from her and I in our "dressed up clothes" we did not see any prom attendees which would lead me to believe the following.........MOVE FROM THE STARBUCKS SURROUNDING YOU (using my best Sam Kenninson typing fingers voice)

TEACHBROECK said...

Our Promies show up at Perkins...I always feel like I forgot my tiara.

cofman said...

Thanks for sharing,

Let me ask so I understand the whole thing … lol, I really do find what you wrote very interesting
Here Mixed please:
“..Prom is an annual event… also be advised that it is not necessary to sport your prom attire every single, solitary, freaking time you go to Starbucks to drink coffee!”
are we talking days? does this event go on for days?
it must be seen by some as a mini celebrity status …
…….. where am I?
what am I doing here anyway ?? lol

( hey btw, thanks for the great great joke … the dog for a calf ??? lol )
please … lol

ibeebarbie said...

Hi Mixed Up Me,

Ok my dear friend. I found out where they (Prom Stars----no, not porn stars-----prom stars) purchased their gowns. It's place in London called Cinderella's. (Holding my head down as I'm so disappointed in the princess.) What was Cinderella thinking when she opened this store? Oh wait! Her ugly step-sisters.

Ok, here's the store - http://anglolibyan.blogspot.com

Anglo-Libyan said...

very funny, bling is very rife here in London.
Thanks for the laugh :o)

and as ibeebarbie mentioed, I know the place if you know anyone that wants to order :oD